Well guys I started this thread to know view point regarding the said essay.My fellow aspirants have tried very well and I pray for their mighty success.
Here is my outline ,I need your response.I cleared essay exam twice I.e 2013 and 2014 but you need never know when we is your bad day.
1.Automobiles.....synching distance or creating panic!
Traffic jams,fuel issue,pollution..
Walk for health
2.Computer and related items...a source of anxiety
Data coppied,corrupt,theft,operating system problem,software problem,electricity issue!
3.Cellular technology.......leave me alone please!!!
Have you installed the new app?
Charging issue,miss communication,near to friends far from family,increasing debt on p pocket
A.Scottish referendum ....manipulating the results
B.Pharmaceutical industry (in this I explained a scenario in which wrong medicine was packed resulting in deaths)
5.IT devices and electronic gadgets .....increased dependence and dissatisfaction
Electronic dictionary vs printed one
ATM ...... A betrayal
Story of one day before eid.
Bank is better
6.Online research: Copy paste PhD.s
Dilemma of developing countries
7.email vs postal system
Delivered ,undilevered .....a headache!!
Loss if emotional sentiments and charm of letter opening
8.Impact on our lives
Idleness,diss satisfaction.psychological distress,emotional disturbances,anxiety and depression.
In between I also added xerox machine,biometric system,social media and problems associated with them.
Kindly share your valuable thoughts.
Despite some loopholes, the outline seems good to me. Here are my following comments:
1.You did not mention labour saving devices. N if you did, then you should have mentioned them in the main body as well.
2.Rather penning down sentences, you should have used short words or broke them into 2-3 sub-points.
3. You have missed a major troublesome: cyber-crimes being done through electronic devices: online money laundering hacking websites cause: - exploitation of privacy - threat to national security and sovereignty.
4. Since this is an argumentative essay, so whether you support or reject it, you should have also penned down a counter argument the worthiness of labour saving devices time saving long-lasting and put less burden on the expenditure due to labour. N since you have supported the topic, so you should have put forward another counter argument to support your argument and counter the worthiness of such devices. In this section, one should be careful in the sense not to repeat the ideas.
5. If I had attempted this topic, I would have been given some examples from Pakistan as well.
6. Your way forward is good but this point could have been added:
- Ensuring the use of environment friendly technology in making labour saving devices
Well, I made two outlines. One on "war on terror" and the second one on your topic but I decided to go with the former. But, I have found your topic the easiest one. I wish you and everybody a warm best of luck. You kindly pray for me as well brother.