In response to popular demand we are including a sample dental school essay. Note how the author reveals a lot about herself without overtly saying "I am this and I am that." She is obviously hard working and disciplined, probably compassionate and kind. Interested in dentistry for a long time, she has clearly considered other options. And she tells a good story.
I could hardly keep myself from staring at the girl: the right side of her face was misshapen and bigger than the left. Only later did I notice that Cheryl, about nine at the time, had light brown hair, lively brown eyes, and a captivating smile. When she walked into the candy shop where I worked six years ago, Cheryl told me she was a student of my former fourth grade teacher with whom I had kept in contact. We talked then and spent time talking each time she visited. She became a very special friend of mine, one whom I admire greatly. At the time we met, I was taking honors and AP classes, working about twenty hours a week, and feeling sorry for myself. Cheryl's outgoing confidence and good cheer put my situation in perspective. Cheryl was strong, kind, and surprisingly hopeful. She never focused on her facial deformities, but always on the anticipated improvement in her appearance. Her ability to find strength within herself inspired me to become a stronger person. It motivated me to pursue a career where I could help those like Cheryl attain the strength that she possesses.
At the time, my initial interest turned toward psychology. Impressed with Cheryl's outlook, I overlooked the source of her strength: she knew that treatment will improve her appearance. Focusing on the emotional aspects of her illness, I volunteered at the Neuropsychiatric Institute. There, I supervised the daily activities of pre-adolescents, played with them, and assisted them in getting dressed. I worked with crack babies, autistic children, and children who had severe behavioral problems. I enjoyed interacting with the children, but I often became frustrated that I was not able to help them. For instance, a young autistic boy frequently hit himself. No one was permitted to stop this child. We had to turn away and allow him to continually strike and hurt himself until he tired.
I was increasingly disappointed with the lack of progress I saw in my volunteer work at NPI, but my job again pushed me in the right direction. During the fall quarter of my junior year in college, I left the candy shop where I had worked for nearly five and a half years, and I began working as a senior clerk in the Anesthesiology Residency Program. Ironically work, which frequently made study difficult, helped me find the right path. There I learned about the oral and maxillo-facial specialty, which will allow me to help people like Cheryl.
To explore my interest in dentistry, I volunteered as a dental assistant in Dr. Miller's dental office. Dr. Miller introduced me to various dental techniques. Although I was mainly an observer, I had the opportunity to interact with the patients. I came in contact with a diverse patient population with different problems and dental needs. I observed as Dr. Miller dealt with each patient individually and treated each one to the best of his ability. He familiarized me with strategies for oral health promotion and disease prevention. I learned a great deal from him, and as a result, my interest in dentistry grew.
I choose to pursue a career in dentistry after following a circuitous path. My friendship with Cheryl motivated me to enter a field where I can help the severely disfigured cope with their condition. Although I initially turned to psychology, I found my work at the Neuropsychiatric Institute to be frustrating and was searching for a different way to achieve my goal. Ironically, Cheryl had told me all along the source of her strength: the knowledge that her condition was treatable and improving. Through maxillo-facial dentistry I will help others with serious facial deformities have the same knowledge and source of strength.
Other Sample Essays
Editors note: This article has been updated April 2017 and all the information in it is up to date
“Your Personal Statement should address why you desire to pursue a dental education and how a dental degree contributes to your personal and professional goals.”
What Does a “Losing” Personal Statement Look Like?
After this open-ended statement on the AADSAS dental school application lies a blank box for you to wow admissions committees with your courageous goals and impressive abilities. Undoubtedly, filling in the 4,500 characters of your personal statement is an intimidating task. Although you have a lot of information to cover, don’t get overwhelmed. If you follow these steps, you can write a unique, impressive dental school personal statement in no time.
To write a winning dental school personal statement you need to first avoid all of the errors that transform so many essays into unimpressive “losing” essays A “losing” personal statement is:
- Generic: Here’s the test to see if your essay is generic and unoriginal. Cover up your name at the top of the page and ask yourself: “Is there anything in this personal statement that is unique to me, or could it have been written by any pre-dent?”
- Safe: A safe essay has shares no vision of the future, gives no promises, shows no ambition and no passion. A safe essay relies on discussion of your past experiences rather than expectations of your future career.
- Restrained: All the ‘blood’ — the joy, excitement, and enthusiasm — is drained out of a restrained essay. My favorite example is an essay that says ‘being a dentist won’t suck as much as my original plan of engineering.’
Three Main Goals For Your Personal Statement
Your personal statement has three main goals:
- It tells the committee why you want to be a dentist
- Your essay proves that your experiences have prepared you for dental school
- It shows that you have the qualities that will make you a successful dentist.
Start by asking yourself a few important questions. “How will dental school help me fulfill my dreams?” “How do my academic work, my community involvement, my clinical experiences, and my future ambitions all relate to dentistry?”
Paint a Vivid Picture in Your Essay
After you have answered these questions, it’s time to show, not tell. Find stories from your past experiences that will illustrate these ideas. Ask yourself, “What stories demonstrate that I already have a head start on developing the skills of a competent and caring dentist?” You don’t want to start your essay with, “I desire to pursue a dental education because of a, b, and c.” Start with a bang— immediately pull the reader into an engaging story.
Effective statements weave together two or thre e personal anecdotes that illustrate why you want to be a dentist—and why you would make a good dentist. To find your stories, think about aspects from your background that relate to dentistry. What patient contact experiences have you had? Think about one specific patient you showed compassion to or helped. When have you been a leader? Strong leadership stories can come out of group projects, clubs, sports teams, tutoring, being a TA, work, etc. What accomplishments have you achieved? Achievements can range from research projects to job performance to advancement in club leadership. Admissions committees love diverse applicants. What are your talents? Playing the guitar or sculpting not only shows that you’re well-rounded, but also that you work well with your hands—an integral skill for a dentist.
Passion Wins — Don’t Hold Back
The best stories show your readers, rather than tell them about your experiences and qualities. Write about pivotal moments by zooming in on the action. Be descriptive and creative. If you write, “I feel that I can be truly compassionate when a patient is in pain,” you are telling your reader something. If you write, “As tears rolled down the girl’s cheeks, I found myself grabbing her hand. I wanted to keep her from squirming. I squeezed her hand tighter and looked her in the eye,” you are showing your reader how you are compassionate when a patient is in pain. Paint pictures for your reader. Anchor images in their mind with descriptions and dialogue. Detail not only makes your writing more interesting, but it also shows that you have an observant mind—and a good memory.
Tired Themes That Kill Your Essay
Although there is no formula for a winning statement, there are some tired themes to stay away from. First, don’t just say you “want to help people.” It is assumed that every potential dentist would like to help his or her patients. Although a good motive, the admissions officers will have read hundreds of these “I want to help people” essays.
How will you stand out? The second essay to avoid is the “I want to be a dentist because one or both of my parents are dentists.” Perhaps the fact that you were raised in this kind of environment swayed you to follow in the family line, but don’t make this your whole reason for pursuing dentistry. You need to have your own passions and career goals.
Finally, you don’t want to re-write your resume. Don’t begin your essay with, “Since I was three, I’ve always wanted to become a dentist,” and go on to elementary school, high school, and college accomplishments. A chronological list of events does not show your personality or highlight your most recent and relevant experiences.
Piecing it All Together
Once you find your two to three stories, it’s time to organize them into essay form with good flow and consistency. Your stories do not have to be in chronological order, but they do need to be connected. Consider your anecdotes and write about the insight you gained from each that will make you a better dentist. Next, work on transitional sentences to link the stories. Think about how the stories relate and pull them together with a few transitional sentences. Finally, write a conclusion.
Ways to draw your statement to a close are: bringing back an element of your opening story or summarizing how your experiences have prepared you for dentistry. Before writing the conclusion, read your statement through a couple times to see what overall impression you get. You might even need to walk away for an hour and read it again. Then you’ll be ready to write a strong, cohesive conclusion for your personal statement.
Your first draft should be between 5,500-6,000 characters (including spaces). This way, by the time that you finish editing and revising, your statement should be at its appropriate length of 4,500 characters or less. During the revising process, cut filler words and repetitive content. Don’t use excessive wordiness such as, “I found myself with an opportunity to be able to assist the dentist with the first patient he had in the morning.” This sentence can simply be cut to: “I assisted the dentist with his first patient of the morning.” Good writing is made up of the three c’s: clear, concise, and cohesive.
Use Your Own Natural Voice – It’s beautiful!
Finally, write as you speak instead of affecting a formal, academic tone that you would use for a college paper. Writing your personal statement is your chance to express yourself in your own words. Don’t try to impress the admissions committees by writing what you think they want to hear, or pulling out a thesaurus and using grandiose words to sound smart. You want your personal voice to shine through and the stories of your life to give admissions officers a sense of who you are. The ultimate goal of your personal statement is to interest the committee enough to interview you—and the committee wants to interview a person, not an academic essay.
A very useful shortcut is to model your essay after the winning essays of other students who were accepted to dental school. Check out the dental school personal statement sample below: It’s an essay written by a real dental school applicant, with my personal annotations to the side. See how this applicant was able to write a winning dental school personal statement.
How to get help on your essay
Brainstorming, drafting, writing, and editing your essay may seem like an overwhelming project, but there are a few ways for you to get help that
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